ai-renn

I am alive! ...a fact that nobody knows. Because I have vanished on so many people. /bricked.

2011 has been off to a bad start for me on many fronts. Being sick all January, the workload, the stress, the self-doubt, the questions without answers... I will spare myself from having to further articulate what has been wrong these past three months. But thankfully I still have art as my therapy. Under the condition that PS doesn't feel like crashing. Because being mad is not exactly therapeutic.

On that point, I think I should reinstall PS. It really is killing me.

Finally reunited with my tablet, which was barely used to begin with. Drawing with it and the brush tool is a whole lot easier than drawing with my mouse and the pen tool~ And not to mention the drawings actually look like I drew them.

Been having doubts about real life stuff. Serious business. So it's really nice to pick up my stylus and just forget it all.
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Want to keep going with my Dubu painting fav.me/d2zw71o but I keep telling myself I should study instead. :/ I had a lot of time to procrastinate early on while I didn't have internet but now...nope. Can't afford to anymore.

But mostly on paper now. Currently, I have no tablet, mouse, or scanner and so doing stuff digitally is a big resounding NO. But I'm throwing crappy photos of my doodles into my scraps from time to time. And since it's my scraps, I know nobody sees them but lol thought I might as well, for whatever reason. xD Stuff like this: ai-renn.deviantart.com/art/Dua…

And that was like...my second last piece of white paper. I'm out of country right now and didn't exactly pack any with me. D:

Life
You know something is wrong when what you thought you loved and are studying now feels just the slight bit bothersome whereas what you gave up being serious about has become the one bright part of your life.

D:

Plans
1. Full background piece with Ren and Jun. Horizontal canvas.
2. Basic background piece with Kian. Vertical canvas.
3. Maybe some contest thing.
4. Lining other sketches/drawing new things...? O:

I want to simplify the way I shade so that each submission won't be so time-consuming. Of course, I won't settle for it looking poorly done/rushed, but there's gotta be a good balance point in between.

...bad at naming things ok? xD; characters, essays, poems. I just can't do it. But since I haven't done much around here, this journal thing is more of a soliloquy I write purely because I feel like it, so it's all good.

Almost done shading~

It's a little funny how my vectoring is going more and more towards a painted look. Maybe my subconscious holds greater love for that look than I realize. (dA has certainly fed that love well with its abundance of talented digital painters >D)

More life-wise, I'm a little sad that I seem to have given up doodling to stay awake and now opt to actually sleep in class. It has a lot to do with my having moved many rows back in my lecture halls...the distance reduces the guilt factor.